Saturday, April 23, 2011

Your success is your choice

This weekend I experienced some things I had not come across in a while. They were both about money and success, but they were other people’s views, not mine. One I understood, disagreed with, but understood. The other, left me feeling like I just wanted to get out of the conversation as fast as possible.

I’ll begin with the first one.  “I can’t earn any more or it will affect our pension.”
Earning over a certain amount means your pension will be reduced, but only on a percentage of what you earn. So whilst you may lose 30cents for every extra dollar you earn you will still be 70 cents in front.

I understood they felt that way and that many people do. I also understood that the age group the person who made this comment is in is very set in their ways, so I did not say anything.

For the most part, whilst your ‘free’ pension money may go down, overall you will be earning more, so it still makes sense to earn as much as you can.

The second experience left me speechless.

I won’t go into it in detail, but suffice it to say I experienced an insane amount of envy aimed at me. I was spoken to very condescendingly and negatively purely because I have a blog that is going well and a publishing contract. Basically for becoming successful at home.

The person who behaved that way I have known for a very long time.   It was the first time in a long time I have wanted to run from a conversation. Thankfully I have children who interrupted and gave me a reason to leave.

Why am I sharing these experiences? What do they have to do with anything?

2 things! The first comment shows me how our own thinking can seriously limit our earning potential. How much money you have is a direct result of what you think and do.

The second thing is that no matter how others treat us or react to what we are doing it is up to us how we react and the thoughts that follow.

Had that sort of thing happened to me a year ago I would have dwelled on it, spoken negatively to myself and quite possibly been in a slump for some time. Now however I realise it is their issue, not mine.

How I think and feel is my choice. No one can make me feel bad. They can say whatever they like, but the reaction is my choice. And I am so glad I now have the strength within me to choose to not let people affect me.

I am choosing to be happy and successful.

What are you choosing?

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  1. I think you make a lot of sense. Many people think that I should be living a much different life (maybe I should), but as it stands I'm making leaps and bounds that I can't when I'm older. Forget about what people think, sure take their opinion but do what's in your best interest.

    -Ravi Gupta

  2. Your attitude is great, people will only make you feel bad if you allow it.

    I have people who have tried to make me feel bad over how I live my life, thinking I should do things their way or trying to humiliate me over life choices that they wouldn't have made but I did (not bad ones just different ones).

    I choose to ignore them rather than lashing out (though some of that is due to the fact I am unable to think of anything to say back). While I feel bad for a bit I do put it aside as it is their problem not mine, it is none of their business,, but I have to choose to ignore it.

    Good post.

  3. Thank you. Glad you guys liked it.

    I used to get really upset about things people would say and my dad always told me it was my choice how I reacted/what I thought and I used to always think, no they made me feel this way.

    lol KJ, it is better to be too slow with come backs because often people regret their quick comeback!

  4. Thanks for that! You have reminded me that what other people think of me is actually none of my business! I experienced something similar recently - not so much the jealousy (although I suspect there is some there) but negativity because I didn't give someone the support they wanted but never verbalised. They stewed on it for 10 months and have, I believe, tried to make me responsible for how they feel!

    Focus on the positive! Take what is useful and leave the rest.

  5. I used to think that was the case...that only you are the one who can make yourself feel bad and nobody else has this power but it's just not true and it's unrealistic. It's not a flaw, these are your feelings and they're natural, we wouldn't be human if we didn't have emotions and we need to accept that it's not healthy to suppress these feelings. Yes we can choose how to react to negativity from other people and how quickly to move on but I think we should just acknowledge that people/events will make you feel low and not put more pressure on ourselves to control how we feel, it's part of life.

  6. That's too bad lesley you experienced that, but great you can move past it.

    Anon, I think you may have missed my point. I didn't say to suppress feelings, I said your reactions and the thoughts that follow are your choice. It's choosing to realise the negativity is usually a reflection of their own life and not your problem. You still get to choose.

  7. I'm proud of your decision and you. You know, someday when my daughter grow up, I hope she will make such decision too, when challenges against her goal arise.

    I'm so happy for you too. And guess, what I choose to do the same too :D

  8. Great lesson, thanks for sharing. My mother always said that in a situation like that you have to say to yourself, "They are the one with the problem, not me" and that's always helped me. Mom's are so smart (like you).

  9. Definitely your option. Other people's stuff is their stuff not mine. I'm learning to rise above it. And no one can put me down unless I let them.


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