Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Before marriage and kids I would buy new things, usually clothes every pay. I absolutely could NOT wear the same thing to parties, clubs or any event, even if it wasn’t the same people at each thing. I felt less confident, less pretty, less everything if I wore the same thing twice. Silly, I know, but it was just how I felt.
Even during parts of my marriage I was like this. One year I had 4 weddings close to each other from 4 different social circles, yet I found the thought of wearing the same outfit unbearable. In the end I had to because I was 6 months pregnant for 2 of them and 1 of the dresses I bought was a bit too tight. Yes, I did still buy 2 dresses. But you know what, my world did not collapse because I wore the same dress to 2 events.
Shopping made me feel better about myself, but only for the short time of the purchase. Then I would feel guilty for spending money. It was a form of therapy for me. I suffered depression severely and shopping ‘helped’ but didn’t really.
Lately, I am not sure why, but I have been struggling with wanting to buy new clothes, new everything, and I want it all brand name. OK, I know one reason, but I can’t face up to that one just yet. It’s a little hard to deal with and write about.
I have always found it hard to pass up a bargain, especially one I could buy and resell for more, but its not always worth it.
Since moving back to my house and sorting things out, especially the garage that has been full of stuff we put in there 3 years ago I have realised how much money we have wasted. Almost all of the things were used at least once, but they were not worth it.
I have been piling things up and am scared to think of the money we have spent on things we thought we would use, but haven’t really. We have gotten much better in the past year especially and really thought about purchases before making them, but I know we can do better.
I know from personal experience, buy things doesn’t make you really feel better.