This post is a bit more on my personal life and things that are changing in it which ultimately affect my challenge. Some of you know that I am separated. I have been since Nov 2009, but we have been working hard on things and it has gotten a lot better.
One of the big problems has been his work. He works 12 hour shifts, usually leaving about 5am and getting home 6:30pm or leaving 5pm and getting home around 6:30am. With only 24 hours a day, 8 for sleeping, him spending 12 at work, 1.5 commuting, 1 to get ready, that leaves 1.5hours a day. Once you take out dinner and the fact he is so wasted from work he usually wants more than 8 hours sleep it actually leaves NO time in the day for playing with our daughters or time for us to go on a date or even talk.
Now, his roster was supposed to be 7 days a fortnight, which is not so bad. Except it alternated between day and night shift, alternating days each week, with week 1 being 2 days on, 2 days off, 3 nights on, week 2 being 2 days off, 2 days on, 3 days off. Then the following fortnight it would swap, where the nights were the fortnight before are now days and the days now night. Every night shift results in the day before and after the shift in him sleeping. PLUS he is never just doing the 7 shifts it is usually 10 – 12 shifts. As you can imagine on the rare day he is not working, he is so exhausted.
He is in a bit of a tricky situation in that the contract his work had for a certain site finished and he has had to become a “floater” between sites. So at the moment he has no permanent position anywhere and just has to say yes to every shift otherwise he will get no shifts. Sounds like fun hey?
He has no qualifications, doesn’t feel comfortable in an office setting and doesn’t want to get any qualifications. He worries so much about being able to provide for the family that he has been working himself to an early grave.
After much discussion about many things, more than just work, we have come to some decisions. We will be getting back together, but we will be switching roles. I love my daughters, but it will be better for me to go to work (don’t shoot me, I know I said work is not for me, and it’s not, but hear me out) and him stay at home.
You see, I have a higher earning capacity and enjoy working. I am also able to get employment that does not disrupt our family life so much. You see, our family is the most important thing to us and his work makes family life impossible. So by working for a small time, until I have investments and such so that I won’t need to work is the only thing we can think of to fix this situation. In the few years of our daughters lives, even before the separation it has not been uncommon for him not to see them for days because of work. He leaves when they are asleep and sometimes they are asleep when he gets home.
He will be doing some casual work here and there, but he won’t be working like he is now. He will be doing something he loves.
The differences between me working and him working are huge. I will have set hours, not get called in at 2pm to go to work at 6pm for 12 hours, not have 12 hour shifts, 10 – 12 days a fortnight. I will have more flex time, more bonuses/perks in my job than his.
Me working will mean we can both take better care of ourselves health wise, we’ll have more time together as a family, time to work on our marriage and actually see each other. It will be a massive improvement for our lives.
There are some down sides, like it means less time for me with my daughters, but I will be ensuring the time is more quality time. I will still be cooking dinner, but he will be doing other house work so it won’t be like I have 2 jobs. He is more of a perfectionist with the cleaning than me and does do a really good job. He has had to do everything for himself since we separated and has no problems with this. It will also mean less time to work online.
Whilst it will sort of change the dynamics of the challenge on one hand, on the other it won’t. Yes I will be working, but I will not be using my wage as part of my challenge. My wage will be going to support the family, exciting things like food, petrol, housing, bills, you know the exciting things. Lol.
My aim is still to do it myself, using investments, online things, hairdressing, whatever I can myself to earn extra income. I still aim to complete it by 2015, without using a working wage to do it.
Plus, hopefully I won’t actually be working for that long, because I really am not an employee. We’ll, see. I am job hunting now. Hopefully I will get something soon, but I also hoping some of the things I have been working on will come to fruition soon, so employment will not be a long term thing for me.